


mad devil, dull spirit

by junhao



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: (kind of???? jihoon just can't handle somethings while others are around is all), Angst, Asexuality, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Crying, Idol-Verse, Jealous Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Jealousy, M/M, Mental Breakdown, i'll try better next time, light fluff, this was supposed to be fluffy ;;;
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-13 21:06:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13578951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junhao/pseuds/junhao
Summary: being jealous had never occurred to jihoon before when he would watch junhui and minghao, but soonyoung has always known just where to push when it comes to jihoon andfeelings.





	mad devil, dull spirit

**Author's Note:**

> the prompt was: _"Jun x JiHoon. Idolverse were JiHoonie discover his big crush on Jun bcoz of jealousy."_
> 
> so jihoon talks about not being attracted to anybody before he met junhui, but i didn't really specify if it was sexual or romantic attraction ;;; so yeah being ace is talked about in this and i hope that i didn't completely botch the thought-process since i've had sort of similar thoughts myself...just don't take this as a guidebook basically, it's like two paragraphs worth and i'm sorry if it upsets anybody.
> 
> i hope that despite all of that, you can enjoy this if you do decide to read. thank you.
> 
> cross-posted on tumblr [here](http://junhaoclub.tumblr.com/post/170621704249/mad-devil-dull-spirit)

It wasn't supposed to be a Big Deal.

Nothing that has happened between all thirteen of them has ever really been a Big Deal, but this feels different. Jihoon doesn't know why or _how_ , but he _does_ know that this feeling curling in his stomach is a Big Deal.

He knows this, but he still doesn't understand the reason _why._ Junhui and Minghao have always done this; ever since they were all trainees and Minghao had just joined the company, things had been like this between those two.

But watching them, really watching them, gives Jihoon a sour taste in his mouth as his stomach rolls.

Junhui is leaned into Minghao's embrace on the dance studio's floor, Minghao himself propped up against the mirror. They're both sweaty and murmuring to each other in Chinese, a sleepy look in their eyes, but Jihoon has seen this exact scene a countless number of times. This is nothing new. Minghao is always the first person Junhui approaches when he needs a pick-me-up, the first person that Junhui had welcomed with open arms while he'd been too shy to actually get close to the others in the very beginning as trainees. Minghao is special to Junhui, in more ways than one, and Jihoon _knows_ this. _Everyone_ knows this.

So why does it _bother_ him so much?

Maybe it's the fact that despite being sleepy and tired, there's also a certain level of fondness that's directed at one another in their gazes. That Minghao is running his fingers through Junhui's sweaty hair, pushing it completely away from Junhui's face in the process. That Junhui is _letting_ him despite not liking it when anybody else tries to play with his hair when it isn't clean. That Minghao is laughing at something Junhui said even though he always complains about how _not_ funny Junhui is whenever fans ask him about it.

Or maybe it's just the fact that Jihoon has never dated anyone in his life, never really _liked_ anyone either and briefly considered the fact that he might be asexual or at least, somewhere on the spectrum. At least until he met Junhui and that train of thought came to a startling halt.

(Although, if you ask him, Jihoon still thinks he's somewhere in the gray spectrum of it all. Mostly because he's never really liked or even been the slightest bit interested in anybody until he was a scrawny teenager trying to make it in a not-so-popular company and walked into the dance studio only to be greeted by Junhui's dancing form.)

Soonyoung drops beside him, sprawling out across his lap when Jihoon makes no move to acknowledge his presence. Jihoon scowls at him, too tired and sluggish to deal with Soonyoung and his koala ways.

"You look like someone just pissed in your cheerios," Soonyoung observes, snickering some when Jihoon flushes and slaps at his chest.

"No, but there is an annoying prick on my lap," Jihoon barks back, lifting his knees until he's able to push Soonyoung off.

Soonyoung is still snickering as he sprawls out across the floor now, pushing himself up on his elbows with a wicked grin that makes Jihoon want to slap him across the face just to wipe it off. "No need to be sensitive. It's okay to be jealous."

Jihoon blinks, his face feeling warm when he stutters out, "I-I don't know w-what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't," Soonyoung offers sympathetically as he pats Jihoon on the back, quickly rolling away when Jihoon moves to slap his hands away. "Easy there, tiger. No need to get all pissy with me when it's obvious you're jealous of Junhui and Minghao."

"I am _not_ jealous. Shut up," Jihoon growls out in defense, even though deep down he knows that he finally has a name for the rolling in his stomach. "Let's hurry up and get back to the dorms. _Before_ I commit murder and we never see you again."

Soonyoung laughs nervously, scooting away even further until he's able to roll up onto his knees and make a hasty retreat, that annoying smirk when he's been proven right still spread across his lips. Jihoon glares at him as he walks off towards Seokmin, immediately latching himself onto the younger man and it isn't in Jihoon's imagination when Seokmin laughs fondly at his lapful of a sweaty Soonyoung and plays with his hair.

Jihoon averts his gaze and freezes when he realizes that Junhui is staring at him.

He doesn't dare move, probably resembling a deer in the headlights and it's only then that he figures out Soonyoung was loud enough for everyone to hear. Minghao is probably looking at him too, Seungcheol as well if the burning gaze that he can feel from his left is any indication, but Junhui is the only one Jihoon focuses on.

Junhui blinks then pushes himself up, mumbling something soft towards Minghao who nods and watches Junhui as he walks across the dance studio to Jihoon. Jihoon isn't good with confrontations, they make him anxious and shifty, so when Junhui is a few feet away from him, Jihoon jumps up and runs away.

He can hear the others yelling and groaning behind him, but he's not built to deal with things like this and eventually he finds himself in a dark corner of a stairwell he doesn't immediately recognize. He slides down and rests his back on the wall behind him, his chin resting on his knees while he wraps his arms around them. Jihoon begins to rock himself, mumbling some gibberish that doesn't make any sense because he's _crying_ and Jihoon _never_ cries like this.

When Junhui appears, Jihoon doesn't see him. He _hears_ the telltale sounds of Junhui's footsteps as they ascend the steps, drawing closer to where he's curled into himself, but Jihoon doesn't care. He's tired and sad and surprised that Soonyoung was _right_. Jihoon has a big crush on Junhui and that's the reason he always becomes irritated whenever Minghao and Junhui are together, which isn't fair! It's not their fault that Jihoon can't keep his emotions locked up, it's not Junhui and Minghao's doing that Jihoon is hopeless at love and dating and all that complicated, romantic shit.

Junhui sits down beside him, giving Jihoon the space he needs to breathe but still close enough to offer some comfort, however small it may be. And Jihoon doesn't deserve this, he doesn't deserve Junhui being nice to him and comforting him when he's jealous of Junhui and his boyfriend. It's absurd.

"I'm s-sorry," Jihoon hiccups, his face blotchy and vision blurry with tears. "I-I'm sorry. You two don't deserve m-my shitty attitude ruining what you h-have going on. I'm sorry."

"But, we don't have anything going on? Did you assume we did?" Junhui asks, his voice barely above a whisper and Jihoon finds that he can breathe easier.

"Oh my god," Jihoon groans, feeling stupid for listening to Kwon Soonyoung of all people. "I'm sorry. I'm an idiot."

Junhui laughs, the sound tinkling like bells. "S'fine. I know how Soonyoung-ah can be like. But are you okay? Your face is all red and wet."

Jihoon groans into his kneecaps and pushes his bangs down to save what dignity he might have left, his tears having disappeared as quickly as they came. "Sorry. I'm a mess right now."

"You were jealous, right?" Junhui asks, then nods to answer his own question before he smiles once more. "Well, you didn't have to be. Everyone knows that Minghao is my friend and only that. I thought you did too. I mean, I kind of thought you liked me too?"

"Of course I do," Jihoon groans out, his neck feeling warm as well. "I'm justーSorry."

"Stop apologizing," Junhui giggles beside him, reaching a hand out to pat Jihoon's head. "You're cute when you're embarrassed though. Red suits you."

"Ugh, not you too," Jihoon whines, falling onto his side to get away from the older man's hand. "Don't call me cute. I find it insulting."

Junhui only laughs, scooting closer again. "Right. Sorry, I know you don't like being babied. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Jihoon mumbles, looking up at the stairs in front of him as Junhui scoots in even closer to press his hip against Jihoon's bent waist. "You can do it. But only when we're alone! Try babying me in front of the cameras and I'll bite your hand off."

Junhui giggles, his laughter making Jihoon feel weightless. Without thinking much of it, he holds his hand out above his hip, palm raised up and when Junhui's own calloused palm rubs against his, goosebumps rise on his arms. Junhui interlaces their fingers, content to just keep Jihoon company until he's ready to go back, content to just sit here and do nothing as Jihoon sets himself straightーthough it's not like Jihoon was ever straight to begin with.

"Okay," Junhui murmurs in response to Jihoon's earlier words and even though Jihoon can't see his face right now, he knows that Junhui is smiling at him.

He smiles as well, his face feeling warmer as the sound of Junhui's laughter surrounds them in their tiny corner of the dark, empty stairwell.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! yell at me on [tumblr](http://junhaoclub.tumblr.com)


End file.
